Crappy Crap Crap.

With the Simpsons typifying American sentiment, and the 'swan' demonstrating that Americans are desperate to see fellow Americans butchered in the name of 'beauty'... One would thing that I am becoming cynical... Not so!


It's been a rather busy month with lots of work coming our way in distant galaxies. I so wish i WAS AN INTERGALACTIC PC engineer... Ah well, I guess that Gippsland will have to do for now... But the minute they get that space station up and running with modern technical gear, I'm off.

Boy I thought I was a geek until I saw that program on TV called "Beauty and the Geek". I'm not worried in the slightest after watching that little show. Boy I know more about the United States of America than some of those bimbos do (and that says a lot).

The A to Z of US of A...

A. America rocks!
B. British forces are America's closest allies.
c. Captain Nemo is not in fact a member of the current American Navy.
d. Death to terrorists.
e. English forces are fucking off very quickly from Iraq, despite being America's closest Ally!
f. Fast food is good for you in US of A.
g. Smoking may be harmful to you, especally in Virginia.
h. Heroin is not the main problem.
I. Ignorance is bliss.
J. John Howard is a cartoon character duck.
K. Klingons are invading Afganistan.
L. Excluding 12 aid workers, Lithuania is some place that no American cares about.
M. Mr. Bush is the man.
N. No-one cares about "WMD's" any more. Forget about it for Christ's sake!
O. Opposing forces that offer passive resistance are usually refered to as 'soft targets'... Zip lock bags are provided for said individuals.
P. People who oppose the war in Iraq are now the world's majority.
Q. Quick bucks are OK in the short term, but offer no sustainable outcomes for the future.
R. Casino Royale sounds like a good film. I must see it soon!
S. Seven Eleven, no that's right its nine eleven.. Nah that sounds wrong. Eleven nine, ah, that's better. 11/09/01. Crikey, Americans can't even get the date right!
T. Together, we can wipe terrorists off the face of the Earth (as soon as we figure out who they are...).
U. United we stand, until every other bastard pisses off and leaves USA to fight the battle on it's own. What's it all about anyway?
V. Victory... Ummmm...
W. WW2 was fought and won by someone against somebody else, not by America against an unseen, unspoken, unquantified force of unknown individuals hell-bent on unknown amounts of unknown and utterly undefined destruction.
X. Malcolm X fought for something worth while.
Y. Who knows why?
Z. Z is for Zero Tollerance. It obviously works a treat... American governmental policy on drug enforcement laws clearly demonstrate this.

Well there you have it. The A-Z of unofficial American observational um... observartions.

For more information, call 555 255 355 and wait for the following message...


"Hello, and welcome to the Donald Rumsfeld: American fight against unkown knowns, known unknowns, and known knowns, and of course: unknown unknowns...

If you are obsessively-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press . no-one will answer.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number and your mother's maiden name.

If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self esteem. Please hang up. All our operators are too busy to talk to you.
.

Donald says"I never liked the guy"

I appologise for this entry in advance.