V-Day Part 2: Winter apprehension.

Ok. I'm not worried. Not worried at all. No really, I'm not worried. No problem at all. No really, no problem at all. Am I repeating myself? No I'm not nervous, not at all. It's just like... Um, well Ok, I'm worried. There! So you've finally convinced me that I am just a little concerned... Ok, a lot concerned. Geezus...

Ornamental balls on the Christmas tree? Thanks Mark. I feel so relaxed thinking of it that way. What if the surgeon slips... and gets the sack? Oh thats right, he's supposed to get the sack. Damn. This is crazy when you think about it. It goes against the natural order. We are supposed to avoid pain (I say this in my best impersonation of Grasshopper **think Kung Fu the tv series**) - This much I know. Martial arts has taught me that much oh master, but It has also taught me that it can be your friend too (but friends don't slit your sack open with scalpels now do they?).

No matter how I think or whom I talk to about it, it remains undeniably evident that this operation is gunna kill! The only immeasurable elements in the equation are time and degrees...
I.e, when is it going to hurt, and for how long can I bear it for as it gets progressively worse?

This is probably the most significant (and the last) operation that a man could undergo in his reproductive life. I was going to draw equal comparisons with childbirth, but have been easily beaten down (into submission) with categorically undeniable facts pointing to the contrary. Scaring me a bit, but just a little. Remember I am a man. And according to women, we are wimps. I can face many adversities blindly and without fear, be beaten, be put down... But hold a razor to my balls, and I will whimper like a cowarly dog. Come on guys, don't deny it. This is scary stuff. A lobottomy sounds better than this...

When I go in for the operation, I also wonder... Will I be able to choose my own music to help me relax like the pregnant women do??? -Or will the doctor choose the nutcracker suite? Will I subconsiously absorb his choice of music whilst under the influence of the anesthetic? Will I wake up with 'Bill Haley and his comets' burned deeply in my consciousness? Perhaps AC/DC's 'balls to the wall' or 'burn for you' by Farnsy will be haunting me as my manhood suffers?

I don't want to think about this too much (or reveal anything to let you think that I might be worried), so this is where I will end my blog tonight. After tonight, I will have one more sleep in which to farewell my aquatic friends forever ;) Wish me well and Phew, I got through an entire blog without mentioning cows even once!!! Um...