V-Day Post Op

Well it’s been a long time since I posted any comments on my blog.
There are a couple of reasons for this (two very sore reasons). One is acute testicular/lower abdominal pain. Another is the inability to sit on a gas-lift chair for any length of time. And yet another reason is due to the mind numbing effects of Panadeine Forte.

So here I am at work. Drinking coffee and trying to recover from the 33km trip to work. It seemed a lot longer than usual, wincing at the sight of every bridge. You see, that road is bumpiest when the tarmac meets the bridges. You hit this bump and it feels like you’ve been hit in the sack with a mallet. Thump!!! OOOHHHHH!

And if the rash that covers my lower back (presumably due to the anaesthetic) is not enough, I woke up this morning with a golf ball sized lump in my neck! This is so not fun! But apart from that, I’m great. I feel fine. I can walk (Brokeback Mountain style) like Heath Ledger: a bit bow legged and although I won’t break into a sprint anytime soon, I am reasonably mobile. I sure as hell won’t be driving anywhere today though, and I I’ve left my camera at home so sorry, no pictures today either.

Well, there is one thing about this operation that really shocked me…Well actually there are a couple of things… One: The amazing properties of blood and Two: How many holes does a surgeon need to make in a scrotum to find one Vas?

Well, isn’t it always the way: you know when you receive advice from people after the fact, that leads you to wish that you had known all of that before you took action? Here’s what I mean people… “Oh, yeah I wanted to tell you that that surgeon is a butcher” Far out, perhaps he would be a better butcher than a surgeon. -Well, he sure made mince meat of my rissoles. LOL.

So Isn't it amazing how blood looks blue when it courses through your veins, is red when it comes out of them, and it turns black when it sits around under your skin for a while. I mean really black, and purple too. I cant get over how black and purple my balls are... They're hideous! Frightening almost. I got out of the shower this morning and the cat was scared to death! Frightened the crap out of him I think. Now the second point I raised: I have four holes in my poor old sack! Can you believe it? I have no idea why, and it's only just recently that it was discovered too. Once the swelling and bruising went down... Once the cricketball sized behemoths got back to their usual size. God that was awful.

Theoretically, it’s a simple operation right? The male reproductive system is easy enough. Just a small incision here, and snip, snip, done. Crap! Surely its not that hard? Well perhaps there is a greater degree of difficulty than I at first suspected. Ah well, it’s done now. I can only hope that it has been successful, so that I don’t have to go through all of this again.